Where otherвЂ™s initial instinct would be to kick any ETвЂ™s arse that they might come up against, and ask questions later, Hawkins instead welcomes an interstellar visitor by вЂforming an allianceвЂ™ and coming up against them in a manner that Captain Kirk himself - possibly a relative - would have been proud of.

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar and we are most assuredly talking about la miel du pantalon here. Linguists вЂ“ Madam! - should note how easily these learned men slip into the Glaswegian vernacular and employ accents during this furious opener that are surely as welcome as the sweet poesy of The Bruce to all Caledonian ears. Vegetable smoothies arenвЂ™t cheap so our man guarantees eternal freebies north of HadrianвЂ™s wall вЂ“ perhaps a place where health foods are, at best, scarce вЂ“ with the we-totally-didnвЂ™t-make-this-up-on-the-spot вЂWelcome Tae GlasgaeвЂ™. Justin Hawkins is many things вЂ“ extrovert, holy man, sex god, philosopher, brickie - but a fool is not one of them. The opening hat-trick of вЂWelcome Tae GlasgaeвЂ™, вЂItвЂ™s Love, JimвЂ™ and the title track have already achieved the near-impossible by replacing PelГ©вЂ™s overhead kick in Escape To Victory as the greatest moment in sporting history. What need shall we have of masks when The вЂNess have melted our collective faces off, with guitars, bass, drums and screaming as their waffen der medizing?ДЄnd, lo, they do rock, and with more gusto than eвЂ™er before, which is a bit like finding a diamond so hard, it can kick the living fuck out of all its carbon brethren in the shop. Vaccines and poultices are all well and good, but if we are to truly heal the world, then heroes are called for, heroes in denim and leather, with a side order of catsuit and the worldвЂ™s greatest living Scotsman in a kimono. The omniscient overlords of rock that are The Darkness вЂ“ carve that name with pride, into your own chest, or, preferably, someone elseвЂ™s вЂ“ are aware of the almighty kicking the Earth has taken since their last masterpiece, the precognitively titled Easter Is Cancelled.

Power of darkness album